In our most recent post I shared my list of boundaries and expectations for my husband in light of his affair, but forgot to mention one; No using smiley faces/emojis when texting/emailing other women.
Yeah. No. Not allowed.
Sure, we have access to one another's devices at all times, but aren't able to get away from communicating with people altogether. Especially when it comes to being in the workforce. Therefore this one had to be discussed;
Is using a smiley face or emoji with the opposite sex cultivating grounds for secrecy and shame or love and safety in our marriage?
For us, it creates the former, so we are stearing clear from it entirely. This may feel extreme, because it is. But I cannot deny the truth; I don't feel safe or cherished when my husband uses smiley faces or emojis with any other woman but me.
Our culture celebrates being fun/flirty/kind with one another (myself included), but have we crossed the line by choosing the thrill of being flirty/friendly rather than creating safety and loyalty with our significant other?
These are the kind of conversations we are having these days. We decided that individually we are too easily tempted to reach out for affirmation to/from others (especially in a difficult marital season) rather than going Jesus and one another in candid discussion.
While this boundary has no power to change our heart, it provides a type of security for our marriage and healing.
Also, it just plain ol' feels good to invest in one another.
What says you? How do you feel about your spouse using :) ;) 😏😉☺️😍😊😇 with the opposite sex via text or email?