The Death & Resurrection of my Marriage

The grieving cycle has 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. One may move through each phase methodically. Another may have all stages at one time. When people are hurt…grief is a serious gray area. The gray area is dark and in need of serious grace.

Why serious grace?

Because no one knows how they will react when the bottom falls out. When our worst fear comes true. We have our ideas and judgments, and maybe even quick to say out them out loud…but when that moment arrives?

It’s been 7 months since I caught my husband committing adultery with a past co-worker. 6.5 months since I found out that it had been going on for nearly 18 months.

As I stared at the dead body that was my marriage, the waves of grief crashed into my soul in ways I didn’t know possible. I was now awake. And feeling EVERYTHING. My marriage died. And I was in shock.

But this crazy thing happened.

Our dead body of a marriage…The one that the True Coroner officially declared dead…began to breathe.

I saw it with my own eyes. The breathing was shallow but undeniable. My marriage was going to live and I was going to witness a miracle.

As a Christian that’s the foundation of faith; resurrection. I believe that God sent His Son to the earth, lived a perfectly sinless life, died, and rose from the dead three days later and is alive and well today. And because of that event, history was and never will be the same.

So it will be for my marriage.

Today with over 30 weeks of counseling in the books, countless conversations of confession/repentance, and a ton of courage, I want to share the amazing freedom we have as believers to grieve. Raw, unaltered, scandalous grief. Once a week I will sit down and share how Christ has walked with us through some very dark valleys. Dark valleys that may not be fashionable on social media.

But oh! To taste freedom and invite others to be messy. That is where real love happens. I’m taking off my mask and over the next few weeks (or months!) sharing with you our grief. In all its glory. If you dare to lay aside judgment and go for a messy ride, maybe, just maybe…we can all grieve together.